nursing


Evie is a month old now!  I’d like to say it went fast but it didn’t.  It is however a big blur!

Two weeks ago I felt like something was wrong,  She screamed a lot and only ate for 5 mins at a time.  Clearly this wasn’t right.  I called her ped and they got me in right away.  She was losing weight!  She was down from 6.11 her birthweight to 6.3.  They gave her a bottle of formula, which she sucked right down.  I have to say this broke my heart,  I bawled my eyes out.  My 2 sons never had a bottle, let alone formula.  I felt like such a failure.

We scheldueled an appt with a lactation consultant for later that day.  Again, I felt like a failure.  I mean, I nursed the boys for over a year each.  Why couldn’t I do it this time?  We discovered her mouth and my nipple just weren’t lining up correctly.  What was easy for the boys now became a constant fight with Evie.   She also fell asleep almostimmediately.

The prescription was force her to stay awake and nurse for at least 20 mins on each side, then give her a bottle, then pump more milk.  Luckily I had something like 9  bags of milk in the freezer, not bad for a two week old baby.  Unfortunately the frozen milk ran out and I had lost a lot of my milk so we had to resort to formula for her bottle.  Again, it was hard.  Nothing against mothers who formula feed, I just feel that mommy milk is 100% better.

I felt like a cow.  My days turned into nursing, bottle feeding, pumping and keeping a log of everything, diapers and feedings.  Night and day.  I was burnt out, exhausted and crying a lot.  Luckily, last wed, her weight was up to 6.7!  It was working!  I could tell, she was a happier baby, cooing and awake much more often.  She has another appt this wed and I’m sure she will be at least her birthweight.

It’s been hard, especially when strangers come up to us and tell me how tiny my baby is.  “Yes, thanks, she’s slowly starving because nursing is so difficult, thanks for remining me.”

She’s doing great now, and at most we only have to give her 4oz of forumla a day.  Yesterday it was 2.

So obviously, I haven’t had time for knitting.  I only have one project on the needles, Branching Out.  I’m using a delicious Baby Twist Alpaca.  I’ve managed 6 repeats in… 3 weeks I think?  Sad.  I did get my invite to ravelry!  Haven’t had a chance to do more than sign up though, I’m prettyfbonnet if you want to add me!

Hope you’re all doing well, and thanks for reading, I didn’t mean to disappear!

I hope to post photos soon, I have some fun ones to share, Zane’s chess tourney, Mom’s belly dancing, Mom with her 4 grandkids, Andrew’s “yoga” and Sean’s baby feet tattoo… lots!

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DH spent the weekend making bamboo flutes with the guys.  He deserved a break from diaper duty.

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My mother, a lifelong flute plater, says his flute sounds wonderful.  He is so proud.

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dear boku,

it’s not you, it’s me.

actually, i take that back, it’s totally you.  first you didn’t cooperate with a scarf pattern, then you messed up my “around the world bag”, then to insult me, you totally destroyed Knitty’s beautiful foilage.  I know I really shouldn’t but I’m going to give you one more chance, then I swear I’m kicking you to the curb.  I mean it this time! I just hope all this tension and strain doesn’t break you.

love, me.

walk.

We took evie on her first long walk this weekend.  We took her in the stroller since it was such a long one and Daddy wanted to push her.

evie had her 2 week well baby today.  homebirth = earlier appts evidently.  she  still hasn’t gained her birth weight back (6lbs4ozs today down from 6lbs11oz) but her reflexes were fantastic.  Dr is not at all worried and says she’s so strong and active she may be burning calories faster than she is eating.  He wants me to nurse her only every two hours, no sooner.  Seems counterintuitive to me.  I’ll try it out I guess, but i’d rather feed her when she wants to eat.

Sorry for the messy typing. sometimes it’s hard with a nursing baby on y0ur lap!

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Andrew holds Evie while Zane helps support her head.  They love being big brothers and when they are at their daddy’s house they call to talk to her.

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While it is true Daddy has big feet, Evie is so tiny!

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Thanks to Daddy, Evie gets a head start at being a gamer girl.

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Every little girl needs a Raggedy Ann.

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Grandma Carrie holds Evie while Daddy fills out her baby book.

Overall things are going well, today is Daddy’s first day back at work and he sure looked sad to leave us.  15 minutes after he left Evie rolled over!  Not even two weeks old, what a strong baby!

I promise to have knitting pictures soon!

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Only an hour old and already has daddy wrapped around her little pinkie.

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Evie passes her first test, a hearing test.

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Her footprints.

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Little feet but long legs. She’s bright red cause she’s screaming her head off.

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I don’t remember feeling this tired, just happy.

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The boys came after school to meet their little sister.

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Sorry it’s taken me so long between posts, newborns do keep you busy!  I’m going to try to recount that OOPS! as best I can remember, it’s starting to get a little hazy!   But luckily, I’m pretty much the only ones who read this, though I know 2 or 3 of you out there comment regularly and I ❤ you for it!

That said, on with the story.  Are you sitting comfortably?  Good.

September 6, 2007 6am

I wake up to contractions.  I had actually woken up to contractions at least twice in the night but went right back to sleep.  This time though I didn’t bother.  They weren’t any different than what I had been having for the last 2 weeks!  I laid in bed till 6:30 or so, trying not to wake up DH who had to work that day.  I thought, if I take a bath that will relax things and the pain will go away.  Evidently my water broke in the tub, since I never noticed it at all.  I took a nice warm bath and at one point I rolled over sideways to put my tummy in the water.  That didn’t help at all, which was a good clue this was the real thing.  But I was exhausted and the doctor said not to call till the contractions were 50-60 seconds apart.

7am, I thought that maybe we might have to get to the hospital and have things checked out.  I felt sure they would send me home so I wasn’t rushing.  I made DH some coffee and the contractions were getting harder, I have never taken lamaze or a birthing class, but I remembered to breath.  I spent a lot of time breathing.  I told DH with no sense of urgency that he might want to start waking up and that I had made him coffee.  The contractions were getting harder and 5 or 6 mins apart but still not as long as he said they should be.  Still, around 7:15 I thought I should call him and see what he said.  Left a message with his service and started getting dressed.  Got my bra and panties on and felt like I really had to push.  Doctor called back around 7:20 and I was writhing on the bed, feeling a lot of pressure.  I couldn’t even talk on the phone.

I went into the bathroom and OH MY GOD I could feel the head.  That has to be the strangest thing ever.  I think I was in denial all morning but that made it real.  I told DH to call 911 cause the baby was coming.  Strangely they didn’t stay on the line with him, I thought they might want to talk him through it?  It’s probably because he has the calmest demeanor. The operator probably thought they had some time.

Probably by now there was a bit of panic in my voice when I told DH the baby really is coming.  I laid down on the floor in the bathroom (and if I had been thinking clearer I might have made it to the bathtub)  I told him to get some towels, which of course, all our towels were dirty.  Evie was crowning and for some reason I didn’t believe it.  “What is that?!”  I asked DH.  I knew what it was, it just didn’t seem real.  Poor DH, who had never been to a birthing class, never read about labor, he was now the midwife.  Luckily, two pushes and she was out.

This was the scary part, I asked him if she was ok, he sounded like he was crying or at least a little shaken.  “I don’t know.”  She whimpered a little, the umbilical cord was around the back of her neck but thank God not the front.  I wrapped her in towels and pinched and prodded her till she was crying.  She was so tiny!  I told DH to call 911 back and say we had the baby and to hurry up, then for some reason I had him call my mom.

Suddenly there were 5 EMTs and Firemen in my tiny bathroom/bedroom.  I wished I had cleaned!  They gave her an apgar of 9, had DH cut the cord with a scalpel, brought a stretcher into the house as far as it would go, wrapped me in a blanket, walked me over to the stretcher and loaded me and Evie into the ambulance.  As I was rolling out the door I called to DH to grab the camera.  Of course I hadn’t finished packing!  I wasn’t supposed to be induced for 4 more days!

In the ambulance her apgar went down to 7 and they gave both of us oxygen.  One EMT just kept saying how awesome I was and how his wife would be screaming and miserable and here I was walking to the stretcher.  We get to the hospital and everyone was calling out “congratulations” and “wow you look great” and honestly?  I was so embarassed!

They put us in a labor room, put Evie under a heating bed, checked me out (no tearing, thank you very much!).  My mom showed up 10 minutes later, which was awesome, I love my mommy and I’m so glad she was there.  They did all the shots and eye stuff on Evie, gave me some pitocin to keep the cramping going cause there was a lot of blood I guess.  I almost punched the nurse who was doing the uterus massage, I know I needed it but omg that hurt.  I’ve heard the cramps are worse with every child but are they supposed to be worse than labor?  If labor had been like that I definitely would have gone to the hospital earlier!

At this point there are 4 nurses in the room doing various things, signing stuff, getting info, checking Evie.  Then the receptionist from my doctor’s office calls and they hand me the phone.  They give me a shot of pitocin while I’m talking!  Talk about overwhelmed.

Finally they let me have Evie and we nurse a bit.  DH gets to hold her and he told me afterward that he felt his life change right at that instant. “I knew I’d love her, but I never knew how much!”  Doesn’t that make you want to cry?  Less than an hour old and she’s already got him wrapped around her tiny pinkie finger.

She nursed for 2 hours straight after mom and DH got to hold her.  I don’t mean trying to pacify herself, she was trying to eat!  Eventually we got a room, I got a shower (which was the best shower of my entire life) and DH got some alone time with Evie.  He was sitting, holding her, singing to her when I came back.  The sweetest thing ever!

She’s awake so I will cut this very long story off here.  Suffice it to say, we are both healthy and happy.  Just a little surprised and confused about how it all happened.

I promise lots of photos soon!

Good news! The boys had reading placement tests this week, to see what groups they should be in. I was a tad worried about Andrew, he can read but he never showed us how well till this week. My little 1st grader is reading at a level most 3rd graders read halfway through the year. His teacher/stepmom said he only missed two words, one was frightening and… I can’t remember the other. Andrew was telling Evie (or more accurately, my tummy) that she needs to be born soon, he’s ready to teach her how to read!

Zane, no one was worried about him. He’s been reading since he was one. Yes, one. Amazing stuff. He was very proud to tell me that even though he is in 3rd grade he reads better than most 11th graders. That’s right, Zane reads at a level almost 3 times higher than what he should. I am one proud mommy!

boys Smart AND cute!

They come home from their Daddy’s house tomorrow. I can’t wait. I miss them while they are gone. Never thought I would be one of those people sharing kids and having to schedule all that mess. But we’re all a LOT happier now.

Pregnancy News

Not much to report really. I had a lot of contractions yesterday, for an hour there it was every 5 minutes. Evie is such a tease. I wasn’t too excited cause I knew it is still a tad early at 36 weeks. But they are at least every hour or so, if not more often. I could have this baby now and be perfectly happy.

Heartburn has been a bitch and a half this week. I never had it with the boys!

The same thing with morning sickness. I threw up once with Andrew and never with Zane. I threw up twice this week alone! Whoever said morning sickness is just for mornings and early pregnancy is NUTS! (I threw up at night and I’m 36 weeks, there goes those theories!) So many things are different about this pregnancy. I wonder if it’s cause it is a girl this time, or cause it’s a different daddy or just cause I’m 30 instead of in my 20s. Maybe a combination of all 3.

Still have a migraine, but after 6 months straight, I dunno, I kinda get used to it I guess?

Evie’s nursery is pretty much done. I’d repainted a few months ago from ugly bright brick red to a pretty mint green. I washed all her clothes and sorted them into age groups. I got a rocking chair, boppy pillow, changing table, basinette (for our room) newborn diapers. All that’s really left is to move the furniture and move sophie’s litterbox and food. I need to pack my suitcase and get some lanolin and nursing pads. Every time I think I’m all ready I realize there is more to do!

Have you seen these nursing covers? i got one as a gift yesterday! The woman who did my pedicure and I were talking about nursing and she asked me if I had one, I said no, I’ll just use my baby sling (which I am dying to use, hurry up Evie!). I guess she really likes them cause she brought me a very cool orange one! What a nice surprise. The pattern is sadly not on that site(though the ones that are there are just as great), but it is so awesome I plan to use it for something else once Evie is done nursing.
Knitting News

I’m working on a secret surprise. It’s nothing spectacular, but I don’t want to share till it’s done cause if it doesn’t work or looks silly I’ll be embarassed!

I also got yarn for another pinwheel sweater.

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The “white” is really more of a grey, so it will be a pretty grey/purple/pink for Evie. If I need more yarn, I’ll finish it with some of the cream that is left over from the first pinwheel I made.